'Tis the Season

Christmas was great! Santa still knows where we live and the snow blew!! Oh my heck! It was sooo beautiful!!!


Until....


Mr. Wonderful and I went out and spent 2 hours shoveling and snowblowing our driveway. We had lots of fun trying to figure out where to put 2 feet of snow from our driveway without snowblowing it into our neighbors' yard. We finally decided it was going to have to pile up on either side of our driveway..clear out to the road. The problem with this is that the snow plow came by to clear a one car clearance pathway...thus a wicked huge pile of snow in front of our driveway...well, ok maybe a little on the road.

The next thing you know a neighbor down the street got stuck right in front of our house! Imagine our suprise when her not so nice husband began yelling at us! As if it was our fault. We happened to be in the garage...Mr. Wonderful was helping me load a big box into the car to return to the store, when she got stuck. As soon as her husband got there, we immediately asked if we could help...

The response was no...so we continued loading the car.

Big BIG mistake!

Mr. Jerk Face (aka Neighbor) decided he wasnt finished with the yelling as of yet. He decided to tell us that we were terrible neighbors! WHELL! That just doesnt sit right with me!!! I had to start yelling back! The funniest part of the whole thing was Mr. Wonderful yelling about the creepy neighbor jerk face's dog "taking a dump" on our lawn! Hilarious!!!

I spent the rest of the day feeling bad for living up to my rep. as a bad neighbor...so that night after I had cooled down I went outside to take out the garbage (much to Mr. Wonderful's chagrin) and Jerk Face was out there...complaining to my other neighbor about us...I can't leave well enough alone...just ask anyone!!!

I yelled, "Hey, *insert neighbors last name here*, did you pull your panites out of your butt yet?" I'm a good ice breaker...a good example...and a good neighbor!

This was my day today while out doing last minute Christmas shopping...maybe my new perfume?

I've Done It! (and now I'm doomed)

About 5 years I was at a meeting in L.A. and the speaker brought in 2 HUGE boxes of See's Chocolates. I mean, I am a chocolate officianado and I didn't even know they made boxes that big. Well, as the BIG box was passed around the room I happened to choose a Butterscotch Milk Chocolate Square...I was in love! After the meeting I went to the boxes of chocolate and proceeded to "weed out" the rest of the butterscotch squares...for the sake of the others. I was saving everyone from certain weight gain! I'm so good to others!

For pretty much every holiday or special occasion Mr. Wonderful will get me a honkin' box of just butterscotch milk chocolate squares...be still my heart!

Mommy was telling me that she had a recipe for the delectable filling in these little pieces of heaven...called Penuche (pa-NOO-sh). Then when I was reading the Martha Stewart Christmas magazine I found the recipe in there. I, of course, made it and the taste was RIGHT ON...even though the texture was not. With a few tweaks to the recipe...WAHAHAHAHAH (evil scientist laugh) I've Done It!!! I have replicated the See's Butterscotch Milk Chocolate Square filling! and last night I made chocolates!

I can totally compete with Mrs. See now. Oh yea Baby!!!! My toughest critic, Mr. Wonderful, even said they taste EXACTLY like the See-Miser's ( Miser, because she always tries to ruin my holidays with her tempting treats and imminent fatness...like her brothers, Heat and Snow trying to ruin Christmas with their weather! She wins!)

I continued in my chocolate making effort with some Cherry Cordials (the kids dig 'em) and some lemon, RUM (shhhhhhhhhh), mint and orange flavored butter creams....they are all relatively fantastic, but I think I've made it clear where my heart is.

All I have to say is, "Beware, Ye who sit next to my big butt..thanks to my fabulous taste for the good stuff...you'll have even less room than before!"

Have you ever?

Have you ever seen such kissable cheeks?

Have you ever seen a more delicious baby?

A better athlete?

Have you ever seen such a nice boy?

A more loving brother?

Have you ever seen such a chubby little thing?

Such a happy little love?

Bubby turned 12 at the happiest place on earth! We are so proud of him! He has been such a delightful boy and has been such a huge help to me. On Sunday he was ordained a deacon and passed the sacrament for the first time. What a thrill it was to watch him walk up to the stand and get his primary certificate from the bishop and sustain himself. Then to be there when Mr. Wonderful ordained him was beautiful. And watching him pass the sacrament was the best thing ever. Shorty watched him the whole time and kept pointing him out to me! Bub has had a lot of experiences in his short 12 years. Many of which I wish I could change for him, but he faces his challanges with a smile and a willingness to serve that have amazed me.

We love him so!

We are so proud to call him our son.

Snow in Disneyland?

Disneyland Snow & Tree 11/21/2008 from brianm801 on Vimeo.

RECAP

Mommy worries when her baby is attacking large kids
His feet don't touch the ground...But they are headed to the Championships this weekend!!!

We couldn't figure out why we didnt have very many trick or treaters

I missed my calling as a trashy costume/lingere designer

I was going to post pics of the Halloween Parade, Wedding Flowers (Im just a helper, not a do-er) and dinner on Sunday....but I'm just too tired!!!

That's What He Said!

This is how Mr. Wonderful feels:

Rick Astley |MTV Music

Mr. Wonderful

I love fall. I love fall for many reasons. But many of you may not know the number one reason of all. Fall is when I fell!

You see, 5 years ago, I was not the person I am now. I was broken and shattered. I was unrecognizable. My world had crumbled and crashed around me and I was left not knowing what to do. Thank Heavens for my sisters and my parents! They picked me up and dusted me off. One sister even made me a to do list. 1st thing on my list every day: "Get out of bed!" Best advice ever to someone who wants to hide under her covers...for reals...if it's on my list then I have to do it!

Life moved on and so did I. Me and my life got better.

And then my phone rang. My dear friend in WA. had a brother who was being naughty. He was living with her and her husband when he quit coming home. She called me and asked me a favor. She requested that I get on an LDS singles website to find him (she couldn't because she was married...he apparently checked his singles mail all the time...I was to find him and tell him to go home!).

I made a stupid profile and looked for him (no avail). I also checked out all of the women. I really wanted to know what I was up against in the dating scene. Later that night, during dinner with my parents and sister I told them about the website. We all had a good laugh about it. Shortly after, my mom and my sister suggested I make real profile. With some prodding and my brother-in-law taking a smoking hot picture of me....I was an official internet prowler.
Then one day I got a "wink" from "techguy801" (if you know him, you're laughing right now!) He sent me a little e-note that said, "sounds like you spend alot of time in your car. I do too. What else do you like to do?"

And so it began. *SIGH*...

We emailed each other quite a bit. Then we moved to instant messaging. I was constantly checking my emails to see if he had sent yet another witty and clever message. I was always hoping he would be online when I was. I was totally smitten by him, but, YIKES, I didn't even know him.

After what seemed like forever...about six weeks...I had had enough. I was ready to meet this man who had put a constant smile on my face. We would still be interfacing via the internet today if I had never had the courage to say, "let's meet!" (Mr. Wonderful is painfully shy and would probably never have initiated a meeting). My request was met with the worlds cutest, "rely?" (mis-spelling and all...don't forget this all happened on a chat screen, and his fingers were so enamored of my request that he momentarily forgot how to spell).

Novemeber 1st was the day we met in person. One movie and one dinner later...We had a good time and my prayers that he didn't think I was too fat were heard. On the way home from our glorious first date, I called my mommy and told her all about it. We laughed. I was pretty sure there wouldnt be a second date, as Mr. Wonderful was not full of his usual witty convo and refused to make eye contact with me. I was disappointed I would never see him again, but then became consumed with extreme tummy troubles...so I didn't really care. Mommy asked me if I was sure he didn't slip a "date rape" drug into my food. I was pretty sure.

After a LONG (LONG) night, I forced myself out of bed. I frumped to my computer and turned it on, hoping that the previous night had never really happend. And there waiting for me, was the sweetest little email from Mr. Wonderful. He had had a good time afterall...he was just a little shy and thought I had the most beautiful eyes in the world! *SIGH*

It's all gravy from there folks! We fell in love. He fell for the littles and they him. I would venture to say that we are more in love now than ever. We love each other and the littles. 5 months later he asked me to marry him and build a life together. The best thing that ever happened to me is when I fell in the fall.

Tag

I got tagged by TT. So...here it is...Hold on to your hats!

8 Things I am passionate About

My Family
The gospel
Not Dying...(gotta raise the babies first)
Helping Others
Laughing
Dishes in the Sink
Mr. Wonderful
Being an Individual

8 Word/ Phrases I say often...

Oh My Heck!

Oh For Pete's Sake
Whatev!
"Time to Wake UP!"
I love you (to pretty much everyone...I believe in telling everyone you love, that you love them)
Good Night! (there may or may not be a "nurse" on the end of it)
Gotta Go, My Hair is Here
Oh! For Crying Out Loud!

8 Things I want to do before I die...

Raise My Babies
Travel
Meet Dolly Parton (don't make fun of me!)
Go on a wonderfully romantic vacation with just Mr. Wonderful
Take My Parents to Sweden (Borka Borka)
Star in High School Musical 307, The 30 year reunion (The Role of Sharpey Evans will be played by Minky...What? A girl can dream!)
Be a little more brave
Tear out all the carpet and tile in my house and replace it all with hardwood and then I would like some time to enjoy it before I die..so hopefully, sooner rather than later.

8 Things I have learned from the past...

Don't Judge a book by it's cover
Family is all we have
Don't take people for granted
Everyone has at least one thing in common with everyone else...so you are never really all alone and friendless (even when you feel that way sitting by yourself in Relief Society)
Forgiveness Heals
Heavenly Father knows me and loves ME!
Baby kisses are the best kisses in the world...even better than a first kiss!
In the famous words of Hannah Montana...."Life's What You Make It!"

8 Places I want to see...

Paris
Venice (ahhh Venice! Maybe in the spring)
Home (Seattle)
Scotland
Hawaii, again
India
Oh my Heck...can't believe I'm going to say it...but Asia (long story about that later)

8 Things I currently want/need...

New Tires for Mr. Wonderful's car
New Clothes (ummm, yes I do!)
Skinny Body (ummm, yes I do and oh no you did'nt!)
A Clean House
A New Mattress
Proper Food Storage (copied from my sister)
Child Support
To Be With my Whole Family with out a girl fight/tension (again, A girl can dream!)

8 People I tag...

Steph
Karlee
Maryann
Kelly
Stacia
Rantin' Rag (that's right, I went there! I went there so much, I bought property!)
Marissa
Emily

Music

Music has always held a special place in my heart. I have loved it since I was a little girl.

When I was little my parents had a big fancy white front room. Everything in there was pristine and wonderful. It was the perfect New York City apartment of every little girls imagination. Not only was it big and white, and beautifully decorated...it was equiped with the latest technology for our listening pleasure...that's right...a hi-fi (that's an old fashioned stereo, kiddies!) I would put on the "Oklahoma" LP (oh yea baby!) and rock out. Some times when I was feeling modern and hip...I'd pop in the latest Donny and Marie 8 track..."I'm a little bit country....I'm a little bit rock n' roll"...and I would let my imagination run wild.

Through the years my tastes refined. Who in my family can forget that I was/am Boy George's biggest fan? Seventh Grade when my parents wouldn't let me go to the Thompson Twins concert so I wore black for a week...mourning. I mean sheez...they let me go to the Neil Diamond Concert in 4th grade...and looking at lyrics as an adult...I have pretty good idea which concert was "racier". But that brings me to my point.

Certain songs hold special memories for all of us. Here are a few of mine...I won't include "Fame" as that has already been expounded on. Please laugh and remeber back to your songs...

Hold Me Now...Thomposn Twins...First Speeding Ticket

Where do Broken Hearts Go? ...Whitney Houston...First Break-Up (bhooooooooohoooooo)

Forever in Blue Jeans...Neil Diamond...First Concert

When I met Mr. Wonderful he would always let me use his ipod when I would travel. He would load it with music for me (since I tend to be not so technologically advanced). He would start every play list with Macy Gray..."I Try"...(Sigh)

Yesterday I was rocking out to Miss D (that's right...I listen Celine Dion...you got a problem with that?) and I was thinking about some friends who were coming over for a carmel apple fest, oh, alright, who am I kidding...you guys are the only ones who read this anyway! Now I will always think of our girls night out whenever I hear Celine Dion...well, our party and how much my thighs hurt from scrubbing so you would think I was soooo cool, but then you went upstairs and and saw the messy part of the house all my secrets are out now!!!

Secret Lovers

Ahhhhh, Fall! The time of year that we look back, reminisce and think about the good old days!

The other night I was at the local Holiday/Chevron/Union 66 (if someone out there knows exactly what the gas stations' name is, please! DO TELL!). Anyhooo...getting gas. Mr. Wonderful was home feeling yucky and longing for a Jamba Juice. I, being the most fantastic wife ever, was on an errand of love for him. But I needed gas first.

I was filling up Black Beauty when all of the sudden a flame of red hair blew by. I said to myself, "Boy, if I didn't know better I would think that was a boy from my youth!" When suddenly I heard, "If I didn't know any better I would think that was Minky!" Us redheads, we never forget other redheads...we have to stick together.

We exchanged quick "Hi! How are you's?" and were on our respective ways.

We were not secret lovers. It does remind me, however, of the world being a small place and how facebook is making it smaller by the minute. Take me for example...I have almost 100 friends! Be still my heart, I am close to popular!!

My friend recently reconnected with her secret lover from High School. She was a mere innocent 16 years old. He was older and wiser (if you get my drift). He was only too happy to educate her in the ways of rock and roll (um, double entandre), life and (the pig)...heartbreak! He was a musician and she a artist. This is the stuff of a Molly Ringwald movie, folks!


They would find little places here and there to rendezvous. She would run her fingers through his long greasy 80's bubble gum rock hair and he would compliment her totally "in" fashion sense and her way cool Princess Diana "do". You see, they were never meant to be. She was the girl from the right side of the tracks and he was from the wrong side of the trailer park. But when they were together, they forgot for a moment that it would never work in a million years.

She refused to tell her friends and family that she was his number one groupie/fan. He longed to tell the world that he finally got the girl! Time passed and like a stranger in the night, he sunk back down into his own league.

Flash forward 20 years later. Facebook. A sudden reconnection. Fond memories. The catching up of the secret lovers. Talk of marriages, heartbreaks, new loves found, children...then the inevitable request for the exchange of pictures.

My friend laughed, giggled and said that perhaps she would get around to sending a picture (since she had just recently had her 5th baby that wasn't going to happen). He sent one immediately.

ummm, gross.

I think the only thing funnier than their high school romance is the fact that she was completely clueless about this picture. "Why would he send a picture of his stomach...that's so weird!" Maybe the best comment of all is her husband's, "Oh man! I need to start working out"

EWWWWW!

Anyone out there have an ex? You may or may not. And you may or may not have a relationship with them. Mr. Wonderful, for example, does not (and is not allowed to) have a relationship with his ex. I happen to have 3 GORGEOUS (they get that from me) babies with mine which in turn = speaking terms. We really have a pretty decent relationship except when we are on our periods...then watch out!



I could write a book about weird conversations I've had in my lifetime, and many of them would be convos I've had with Mr. Ex. For instance: Yesterday.



We were chatting on the phone. Mr. Ex is gearing up for hip replacement surgery (many of you would say, "Dang he's old, you should've hung in there until he died and gotten his insurance money", but alas..he's only 42...too much football...so really to hang in there would not be pretty and he probably would've lived to be 347 years old and I never would've seen a penny...that is my luck with him). Anyhooooo...we were talking on the phone and he posed a super scarry question to me (weird that halloween is just around the corner...this is scarrier than anything you've ever seen at Halloween!)

Mr Ex's question: What would you do if you died and walked in the front door of your mansion in heaven and I'm sitting there on the couch in my underwear?

(Que scarry Halloween music) Shivers and chills ran up and down my spine! My hair stood on end. My teeth chattered. My mouth went dry as bile entered it.

Minky's Answer: Put in for a transfer!!!

Note to anyone who burries me! I, Minky, hereby request that I be burried with my sealing cancellation letter in my hand! It must never be pried from my cold dead hands! I will take it to the grave with me, just in case some paper work got lost in Heaven's Filing Cabinet. Also to be burried with me is my sealing information so that me and Mr. Wonderful can hold hands and skip through the daisies for eternity.

Mr. Ex would make a great neighbor though. Just make sure we're not on our periods together

Madge Doesn't Have Dishpan Hands Anymore!

I hate dirty dishes! Dirty dishes are disgusting. Everyone who knows me knows that I cannot abide dirty dishes...they make my sink smell like ketchup...WOOF! I am dry heaving just thinking about it! I DO NOT like dishes in my sink. Point made?

A couple of weeks ago it was the Big Guy's birthday. He hates paper goods just as much as I hate dirty dishes in my sink. What a conundrum! We hosted a small family get together to celebrate the birth of our great patriarch. In his honor, I usually try to use "real" dishes even though we are having a LARGE crowd. Since it was his birthday...of course we used "the good stuff". We had a large Mexican meal. Enchiladas, chili rellanos, rice, beans, guac, salsa...the whole 7 layer dip (that's Mexican for the whole nine yards....TOOT TOOT...that's me honking my own horn due to my fantastic cooking abilities!). 16+ people. Dinner and dessert and drinks and silverware and baking dishes and ice cream scoops and pie server things and....any way all of this equals...alot of dishes!

After the party broke up, the clean up began. Thank the Lord of the Rings that TT was considerate enough to rinse off the dishes (even though she only did it so she didn't have to socialize!). I loaded up the dishwasher (REAL good) and in my oh so modern homemaker way, pushed a few buttons and walked away with a sigh of relief.

"The big deal?" you ask? Weeeeelllll...when hot plastic fumes started spewing from the machine, me and Mr. Wonderful had some concerns. We turned it off...waited a while...and tried it again. To my chagrin...BOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOBAAAAAAAAAAAA...it decided to pick party night of all nights to call it quits! For crying out loud! It's not even 3 years old!

Thus started a week and a half Minky doing the dishes by hand! Mr. Wonderful was soooo good as to try to lighten my load by suggesting dinner out a couple of times (*SIGH* he's so cute!) but it didn't quite make the dishwashing go any better. He did do the dishes at night, but he also had the flu (you know me and...*GULP* G-E-R-M-S...YIKES)...so it was a LONG week and a half.

This morning Rex the dishwasher repair guy came over. This isn't really his name, it's just the imaginary name I made up for him since I don't know his real name. His real name is probably Super Hero...because that is what he is to me...Super Hero! What? A rose by any other name...

Rex proceeded to go to town! Teaching my dishwasher lessons that only a super hero could. He pulled on it. He tipped it over. He drilled it. He tore it a new one and replaced the old one! This was super! He did things to that dishwasher I only imagined I could do to it! In my mind I wished that my truck driver tongue lashing could've been enough to shape that baby up! Naughty dishwasher! But in the end he fixed it and fixed it good!

All for only $300. Rex may have fixed my dishwasher, but he broke my bank account! Maybe dish pan hands aren't so bad!

Sometimes you feel like a nut...

Sometimes you don't.

Halloween Happiness

I love Halloween. It makes me sooo happy. If you come trick or treating to my house be prepared to laugh and cry! One Halloween this little boy trick or treated me. I was totally hyper (hmm, too many Peanut Butter Cups??) and decided to freak out my next guest...poor little guy. I poured red food coloring in my mouth and answered the door on my knees like I was dying...umm, yea...he started crying as the "blood" trickled out of my mouth...There may have been some coughing, causing a spray...whooops! sorry.




Anyhooooo...I have decided to give everyone a good laugh (since this is soooo not the norm) and share some of my favorite CREEPY (and I do mean I am a CREEP) stories with you.



When my brother was little he went trick or treating with some friends...helloooo? No adult??? And he got his big huge pillowcase full of candy stolen when he got beat up by some....GIRLS!!!! Poor Cheffy...They kicked him in his knees and he went down...then they took his candy!!! He still has a scar on his knee to prove that girls rule and boys drool!



Another time, we lived in a neighborhood with some immigrants. They were new to America and wanted to make a good impression so they handed out FULL SIZED 3 Musketeers...Oh yea baby!!! I didn't go to their house but when my sisters got home saying, "The Iranians are giving out candy bars!" Well, who wouldn't put back on their costume and head out one last time?? I put on my Kooky Spook Kosmic Kreeper costume (It had this hat that you blew up and there was an alien head on top of yours...so totally cool!) and headed up to their house. When I got there with my empty pillow case the guy said to me in his thick Iranian accent..."Oh, you are just getting started!" and he proceeded to pour the remainder of his 3 Musketeers FULL SIZED candy bars into my bag! Hallelujah!! Thus began my love of the foreigners. More about My trip to New York later.





Then there was the time that I was in 4th grade and went trick or treating and one lady said to me, "Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" I was sooo sad..You try being tall and chubby in 4th grade! It ain't pretty, LADY!!!! (sorry, I may need counseling for that one.)



Ahhh, yes...the year I dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and Jason Gardner was Boy George...so telling...for both of us!


The Halloween that I was engaged and I had a cold...more like cold feet!!! and didn't "feel up to doing much" with my fiance'. So he brought me a variety of soups in a gift bag (see back ground on the kitchen counter...the bag alone was reason to breakup)...I said, "Oh, thank you...I have something for you too" and gave him his ring back...then I went to a rockin' Halloween party dressed as a modern dancer and wore a fake naked bum and made out with a total stranger...What? I was celbrati...I mean, heart broken...Yea...That's it!



There was the Halloween that my mom sent me and my sister to the store and we ended up with my friends' brother in the car with us. On the way home we saw our friend jogging and thought it would be funny (Oh my heck...How rude) to throw EGGS at him. So we slow down, roll down the window and Brandon throws eggs at this poor friend jogging. Wouldn't you know it, it wasn't our friend Hadrien after all! It was a total stranger! So I just drive off. Since we chose to throw eggs at a runner....guess what...he followed us home (I'm brilliant like that, to drive directly home after committing a crime). I went home and started making apple cider when the door bell rings. The convo went something like this: "Good Evening, officer, would you care for some apple cider? What? Eggs? Jogger? Indeed?". The officer told me if I gave up my friends' brother I wouldn't in trouble....my record is still clean today!



I can't help but wonder what this Halloween holds in store...I do hope it's a little less CREEPY than others.

FAME (I'm gonna live forever)!

I got my first job when I was 14. My dad actually got it for me. He knew this woman named Dee...I'm pretty sure she was a man, though. Dee owned Juanita One Hour Martinizing (that's waNEEEda for those not from the home land). My dad got my sister a job there first. She liked it and co-worked with someone who got phone call asking them if they could get semen out of a wedding a dress and she said, "Hold on, I will ask my boss, she knows a lot about fishing." My sister is really smart. She was appalled by this! I'm pretty sure she found employment elsewhere not too long after this incident.

I started my job the first day of 9th grade. I wore purple totally cool shoes. Dee also had a tanning bed and an electrolysis studio in the back of her dry cleaner. We could totally use the tanning bed anytime we wanted...That rocked! I would come to work straight from school and Dee would leave as soon as I got there. I would walk over to the gas station and get some jo-jo's and go to work bagging the clothes (if you had grease on your silk blouse from my jo-jo...sorry).

There was this attorney who would bring his clothes in. He was sooooo waaaayyyy cute! (And totally in my league, hellooooo, who doesn't want a chubby 14 year old girlfriend who works at a dry cleaner when you are a young aspiring attorney!) He would bring his clothes through the drive through in his silver Mercedes and I would swoon! Oh! his clothes even smelled cool. All expensive Cologne-y and tobacco-y smell...I would put them up to my face and sniff and sniff and sniff. Then I would go about my job and remove all those weird little amber glass vials with the white powder residue from his pockets. (So weird, because he must have some mysterious illness and have to mix his own herbs to get better, he does sniff and wipe his nose all the time!...hellooooo, so IN my league, because I totally believe in natural healing too!!) My boss said they were for cocaine, but he was an attorney and would never break the law. This was my future husband we were talking about!!!

When Dee would leave, I would turn on the radio to the local soft rock station (KOSY). What? It's all we were allowed to listen to at work (thus began my love of soft rock...blog about that later). Anyhoooo...I happen to know all the words to fame..it was very popular on the soft rock circuit in 87.

I was bagging clothes on rainy day. It was so slow at the dry cleaners and I had the soft rock music pumping! Suddenly, FAME comes on the radio..you can't help but sing! If you're me, you cant help but make up a Broadway production. So I'm in the back of the dry cleaners, dancing with a clothing bag...yes...there could've been some jogging in place...and singing at the TOP of my lungs. Although we had a buzzer (I assumed Dee liked to do the same thing on a slow day) I was singing just a little too loud and didn't hear it. I finished my performance (slightly sweaty and WAY out of breath) when to my surprise I heard clapping! (What the ???) So I go to the front of the store and there was MY attorney, My future husband, clapping and.....*gulp* LAUGHING!

I quickly regained composure, making sure to mess up my totally rad short on one side, long on the other hair cut...I got him his clothes with a blush on my face (and not just from dancing, either!). As he walked out the door with a "Thanks for the show!" I suddenly decided his clothes stunk, and his luscious curly hair WAS totally out, and his nose wasn't THAT cute and those WERE cocaine vials in his pockets, and I hoped his credit card got denied everywhere he went.

Ahhh, Memories...(break into song and dance) Misty water colored Meeemmmooorieeeeeeessss...of the way we were.....

Children's Hospitals

My cute cousin is getting married. Cute? More like adorable! Fantastic! Gorgeous!...Anyhooo...she is getting married. My cousins are all beautiful souls. And just as beautiful on the outside.

In leau of gifts for her wedding she is requesting that her guests donate money to the Venice Children's Hospital. When I saw this I had to weep.

*WARNING SERIOUS CONTENT*

My oldest son was born with a congenital heart condition (have your babies checked!!). We didn't find this out until he was 4 years old. The Doctors at Primary Children's Medical Center have been so good to us...to instruct us, to guide us, and to help us know where to go. They have even been so good as to revive Mr. Wonderful from fainting! We spend a great deal of time up there and feel grateful to be so close to such a wonderful facility.

The thing that solidified my love for children's hospitals is that when Shorty was born, he needed to be life flighted to PCMC. I (having just given birth 20 min. before) was unable to attend my very precious cargo on that long journey. The life flight crew got my little bug all ready and brought him to me before they left for SLC. They opened his little incubator and let me give him a few final kisses that would have to tide him (and me) over for a while, until I could get to him in a week or so.

He was life flighted and the best Dr. in the world fixed up my baby! He was careful and steady and diligent. The nurses immediately started taking pictures of him once he was in recovery in the NICU. They would send me those pics. through hospital mail everyday...I seriously slept with one under my pillow in that lonely hospital room (I hope no one ever has to know the loneliness a mother feels when she can't hold her baby...ugh, tummy hurting thinking of a week...let alone a lifetime...boohooo). The nurses would call me whenever he woke up. They were never grouchy when I would call in the middle of the night and ask that they hold the phone to his chubby little cheek while I would sing "I am a Child of God" at 2 a.m. They would tell me how much breast milk he had and encourage me by saying, "You make solid cream!", "It's liquid gold!".

The thing that makes me love these places of turmoil and solace, however, is one experience in particular. The day I brought my little one home from his too long stay at the hospital, he wriggled, and jiggled just a little too much. He tore out all of his stitches...inside and out. I panicked! I threw him in the car and made the drive up to SLC. When we got there and the Dr. looked at the wide gaping wound...they said they couldn't do anything. His little new baby skin was too delicate to stitch up again and he would have to heal on his own. I was so scarred. My heart was beating so fast. They told me they could keep him or I could take him home. I cried, and cried, and cried...I couldn't possibly take care of him with two other Little's running around. I would have to leave him there. Then one of the Dr's. working on him pulled me aside and said, "Of course you can do this! There isn't anyone better suited to do it! You are his mother."

I knew then and there that I could do it...not just that I could, but that I would. I would do this and learn and grow along with him.

For the next 12 months I took care of him at home (well, I still take care of him...its just not as intense medical that I was doing before!). The nurses would call frequently, we would see the Dr. 1-3 times a week and a Home Health care nurse came to check on the baby once a week. For a whole year! We were never billed for this, but I know these angels were being paid. Because people are generous enough to donate to these organizations we were able to be together as a family and I was able to take care of my little bug. Because of people who have dedicated their lives to saving my babies lives, I have been blessed, my family has been blessed and we have learned how to survive!

Thank you, dear cousin, who would rather save lives than flip an omelet with an $80 spatula!

Factory Workers

Factory work is hard. It is intense. The hours are agonizing and the compensation really isnt't that good (in fact, I had to PAY!!). The conditions are difficult to say the least. Ask me I know all about it! I HAD to go to the Cheesecake Factory today. It was arduous and hard. I had such a hard time choking down my gigantic salad (had to have the salad so I could get the cheesecake...duh!) and slurping down my soup. The bread was a too light and fluffy and flavorful (I had to smear it with butter...Oh the Humanity!!) The 30th Anniversary cheesecake was palatable, I pretty much had to force it down (because I was sooo freaking full, but don't worry...I got it all down!)



The only thing that made it remotely bearable were my co-workers. The Misses' Regans made my work day alot easier! Hopefully, I will have a less grueling day tomorrow.

It's a Great State Fair!

Do you buy corndogs? I do. !! If you know me you know I prefer to home make all of my own deliciousness. I love food! I find great satisfaction in my family asking for seconds...weight issues anyone? I digress...The littles love the dogs. Whenever I ask what they would like for dinner the answer is inevitably, "Corndogs!". The problem with this is, I don't have a lot of room in the freezer (did I mention my love for delicious food?). The corndog box is HUGE and bulky. It takes up valuable real estate that could be used for something like brownies, or ice cream, or cake, or rolls, or cookies, or..oooops! I digressed again...Since I need the space in my freezer for other imperative items (as stated above) I will ditch the corndog box and zip the dogs in a giant ziploc and try to find space for them sans box.

Anyhooooo...Today whilst shopping at the local co-op (I really want to sound hip and fancy that I am shopping at the co-op, but it was really Wal-Mart) I purchased corndogs for the littles. (I wanted to make them happy), but in return it was me who was happy!!! Joy of joys! The corndogs are now individually wrapped! This may seem trivial to skinny non-eaters of the good stuff...but to me, this was a GIFT! Now I have room for the goodness AND the dogs!! (Lo, were it the real dogs....)

Thank You Blog Gurus!

You're the best!! Maybe now you can leave comments a little easier!

Oh My Heck!!

Oh my heck!! I am sooo excited!! I think I have an actual blog follower!! Well, Kelly was my first...eek...that doesnt sound right...I mean sure, we slow danced a couple times, and we did put oreos (back when the mint ones first came out) all over Rachael Barnes car and wrote REDRUM on it, and I still remember how cold the seats in Kelly's Mom's tan station wagon were..ewww...not sounding good there either....Anyhoooo!!!

An actual blog follower..I dont know who you are Rantin'Rag...but I hope you are a total stranger who reads these posts and gets just a small kick from them. If you are someone I know..don't tell me...no, wait..DO...yes...DO! I must know at once who you are!! I love that you follow me!! Que organ music: I am a shepherd and you are my sheep...sure I only have 2..but hey...I'm kidding..I'm just giddy with the idea that people are following my blog!! I'm so excited...maybe after all these years I will be popular!

Biggest Hugs in the world to those who read my ramblings!!!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

If you think watching a man run around in a red satin speedo, fishnets and stillettos is scary (let's not do the time warp again!), just wait until you see my friend Steph's yard!

Everyday when I drive by and see her poor husband out there, working and slaving and breaking his back to move these rocks I think, "Geeze! Poor Mr. Pond, We should really help them with their yard!" Then I regain consciousness and think..."Ummm, I dont really want to ruin my nails, and my back is really sore today, and hmmm, whats for dinner, did you see that bird?" and then...it's gone. Gone.

This is not your typical yard. Mr. Wonderful (who I believe is an expert at everything) even says he has never seen anything like it. We wonder if there is even dirt on the lot , or just smaller rocks cementing in the bigger rocks. Mr. Pond usually has at least 2 of his littles outside "helping" him. Steph is always close by to offer him a cool drink of lemonade or some much needed moral support...When I was little and we had to do stuff around the house, the first one to "have to go the bathroom" stayed in the bathroom until the work was done. I believe that, like me, she has to go to the bathroom alot. I mean ALOT (me, not necessarily her)...so, sometimes you just need to stay inside in the air conditioning, just in case..you know.

The thing is that these rocks are not merely rocks...like the rocks that Shorty brings me home every single day and I forget to check the laundry pockets and they get washed and help my washing get extra clean...these are boulders. Like major rocks!

When we bought our house they had to blast out a boulder the size of a VW Bug so that we can have the luxery of natural gas. I think Steph and Mr. Pond had to blast out a boulder the size of Kentucky (if not...it sure looks like it). They had to have a commercial trencher come in and trench and all that kind of stuff...I dont really know what that means because I had to go to the bathroom soooo much that Mr. Wonderful just hired someone to do our yard...he is smart enough not to have any delusions...he knows all about me.

The thing is...I really wish I could help...but I just don't really want to. I have to go to the bathroom!

Bagoingk!

You know that sound? The one used in sword fighting movies when the sword is hurtling through the air and then it stabs into the wooden beam and shakes a little. "Bagggoooooiingk!" It usually has a wonderful whistling undertone. Then a really loud clean noise of it sticking into the wood. (Note to Kelly: I think we first heard this noise in Willow!)

This is not a sound you want to hear when mowing the lawn. This is not a sound you SHOULD hear when mowing the lawn.

In the dog days of summer the littles run around in next to nothing. They smell of sunblock and popsicles. They swim from morning to evening while I laze around on the couch. They bring out anything and everything they can find to play all sorts of imaginary games. Pillows, stuffed animals, poker chips (why for the love of the american flag do we have poker chips? Oh yea, strip poker! I jest!), forks, knives, spoons...you name it. They take out all of this junk play with it in the pool or the playhouse and then return most of it into the house. (After I yell and scream and threaten them within an inch of their lives).

Lovey is eight. She is smarter than me or Mr. Wonderful...sometimes even combined. She loves to use her imagination. She invents elaborate games and needs many props, which she, in turn, forgets to put away (because she is like the absent minded professer). This is all tying together...I swear!

Well, Mr. Wonderful was being the dutiful husband and father and mowing the yard. He prefers to keep on the lawns on a very regular basis. After one particualarily long week for the littles, he was mowing. Everything was being sucked up out of the grass and into the blades...and being spit out into Mr. Wonderful. He said the Poker Chips were the worst.

I stay inside laying on the couch, watching "Keeping up with the Kardashians" ( oh that Khloe) and eating bons bons. I occasionally mute the T.V. to make sure Mr. Wonderful isnt having an Uncle John moment (laying under the lawn mower, looking for his toes). On this particular day and moment, I chose to mute the TV right when I heard the mower whine a bit and then...the dreaded "Bagoooiiiiinngggk!" noise. This requires some looking into!

When I asked Mr. Wonderful what the commotion was, he politely steered my attention in the direction of the giant swingset/playouse thing. There glistening in the sunlight on the ground was a fork. A shiny pfaltsgraph fork. I had a look of confusion on my face and went to queary Mr. Wonderful further. Apparently the mower had sucked up, spit out and hurled the fork straight for Mr. Wonderful's HEAD! No wonder he looked a little green. Thank Uncle John's Toes that the fork missed his head and stuck into the wooden playset and then fell to the ground.

Baaaagggggooiiinnnggk!

Midnight Ramblings

I am Hungry. Starving. Ready to eat. I hate dieting, yet I am ALWAYS on one. Why did I drink diet coke so late at night. Oh dear, I spilled the beans, that not even my closest of close friends know. I'm a junkie. I'm not proud of it. I drink the Nectar of the Gods! I'm ashamed. I'm so UTAH! When people say, "You don't like diet coke?" I can honestly say, "No, not really." Because I love it!!!!! Only Mr. Wonderful knows how I love it. I would venture to say that if we have ever gone out you, you would never have seen me drink a Diet Coke. I'm a closet addict. Everyone knows about the Peanut Butter Cups, and the bags upon bags of Chocolate Chips....but now this? I'm sorry. I prefer a cocktail of Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, and...well..Water. I hate the bubbles of fizzy drinks. The water really makes it go flat fast...and then...well, HEAVEN! If you are disappointed in me, all I have to say for myself is..."Try it! You just might like it!"

Went to Greg's grave yesterday. I was driving by and thought, "Hey, I don't have to be home, no one needs to go potty, or needs me to wipe their bums, I still have plenty of time to get home before the kids do". It was awesome..I've never been without someone else. Mom was worried about the cemetary, because it isn't so lovely. All I can say is....LOVELY! It was so peaceful and beautiful, the breeze was blowing, the sun was shinning, his little flag was waving. I sat down beside him and told him all the latest gossip and laughed at how he's "famous" now. He is a Hero. No one has to look for his grave...Everyone just knows right where it is. Colton inspired me today because we had been talking about when Greg and I were little. I told him all about the Lake Powell Trip. Good Times...

I found this shopping list. Interesting...

Wish I could sleep. Wish Mr. Wonderful would wake up and sing to me and not forget the diamond ring this time. Wish I didn't love the juice as much as I do.

The Murderous Villians

We have two dogs. Frankie (Franklin, Franks) and Ellie (Ells). Now, these two dogs are somewhat special. They were rescued from no kill shelters. This must be qualified here so that you may come to appreciate it later. Frankie had never been with a family before Mr. Wonderful adopted him. He is the most comfy lovey dog ever. Ellie had been adopted three previous times (and returned all three previous times) until Mr. Wonderful (a.k.a. Sucker) took her home.

Now...I have many complaints regarding the hairy beasts. Fur, bed peeing, butt licking, crotch sniffing, barking, barfing, pooing, eating of poo, etc...but it is now official...they are naughty dogs!

Bubby and his friend were playing out in the back yard and come in and tell Mr. Wonderful that they have found a dead rabbit. Mr. Wonderful whispers, "Don't tell Mom...let's us just handle this." Of course...Mrs. Cravits (ME) knows when someone is sneaking...so I follow...

There wasn't a dead rabbit. paaaaaahhhllllease!!! It was a DEAD CAT! The murderous villians have now committed every sin in the bible (including incest!) There laying in the gravel by the a/c was the soft sweet dead body of a little cat!!! They ate a CAT! Mr. Wonderful still contends they just loved it to death. "We're gonna need dental records" I say. Mr. Wonderful says he will take care of it, but if you know Mr. Wonderful, you know a couple things about him: A: Fainter (although a VERY masculine fainter, honey) and B: Animal Lover...I decided to put us both out of our misery (Mine? You ask? Would you want doggies walking all over your house with cat guts on their paws?) Anyhoooooo...Enter Minky: CSI Agent Extrodinaire (Fashion, of course, makes me extrodinary).

I don my green disposable latex-free hair color gloves (thank heavens I do hair!!) and proceed to try not to contaminate the crime scene. First we are gonna need a shovel..hmmm...all I can find is the dog poo shovel...welllll...what would you have done?

Next...Body Bag...hmmmmm...Grocery bag? Too bad I decided to go green and didn't want to use one of my 1$ reusable bags (not as reusable as one would think)...oh well...lawn and leaf bag. Now the tricky part...Did I mention it was 450 degrees? I need some serious nose plugs...darn! I just threw out my synchro nose plugs from 1986...tampons? No...perhaps you didnt read the fashionista part of extrodinary above..hmmmm..I know! Thank heavens Bubby had a cardiologist appt. the week before and I still had his face mask that he had decorated at PCMC...Phewf! Now I am looking extra professional.

Disposal posed another problem. This wasnt like when Tubby, the divorce dog, died and my neighbor put him a garbage bag and in the garbage because the truck was coming the next day...this was Monday...Garbage day isnt until Friday...Hmmm, dang...hmmm...Oh well...into the garbage. Mr. Wonderful had the major creeps all week long...."You don't have to leave for work at 5 in the morning in a scary dark garage with a dead cat in the garbage!" I tried to convince him that it wasn't going to jump out and attack him, but I wasn't wholly convinced either!

The crime scene gets cleaned up and traffic (the dogs and children) are allowed to go back to normal. Too bad I will be haunted with this all too vivid memory. Maybe I will go to school to be a Crime Scene Investigator. I'm pretty good (See the above crime scene photo, thanks Mr.Wonderful!!). I caught two of the sneakiest murderous villians known and MAYBE, just maybe, I will be able to cover up a certain double murder!

An Ode to Recovery

5 years ago the Devil himself reared his ugly head and reached his disgusting dirty fingernailed hand through the gates of Hell and decided to lamblast our family. Well, little did he know (or us, for that matter) we are SURVIVORS! He thought he could try our testimonies by tearing families apart, he thought he could break up other families with drugs and alcohol, he thought he could watch us eat each other alive with back biting and fear. We showed him...well, kinda...he had us shaking in our boots more than once.

So for my sister, my friend, who has fought a very private painful battle, I would like to congratulate you, VERY PUBLICLY and tell you...I am proud of you.

Congratulations on 2 years of being Drug and Alcohol Free and reaching for your goals!!

Two Picnics and a Funeral

What a weekend! We won a football game (GO RIVERTON!), Mr. X did a great job holding those sign things that say what down you are on, we shopped for guitars, purchased two new fish, Swimmer and Big Mouth, went to a picnic in Provo (So fun to see Aunt Jaqueline and Uncle Glen), had a sleepover, had funeral because Swimmer was suddenly Floater, went on a Sunday drive in the hills...With me yelling, "Dont scratch my baby!!! Watch the Rover!" Found a dead racoon, took some pics, found Andrea a place to live when she moves here (ahhh...dreams!), went to church, went to yet another picnic with Mr. Wonderful's family, came home and crashed. ahhhh! Well, I ate Chocolate cake...

When I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night Mr. Wonderful sang me a lullabye (*SIGH*) about a mockingbird...couldn't help but wish he made it to the diamond ring part before he fell back asleep...