The Murderous Villians

We have two dogs. Frankie (Franklin, Franks) and Ellie (Ells). Now, these two dogs are somewhat special. They were rescued from no kill shelters. This must be qualified here so that you may come to appreciate it later. Frankie had never been with a family before Mr. Wonderful adopted him. He is the most comfy lovey dog ever. Ellie had been adopted three previous times (and returned all three previous times) until Mr. Wonderful (a.k.a. Sucker) took her home.

Now...I have many complaints regarding the hairy beasts. Fur, bed peeing, butt licking, crotch sniffing, barking, barfing, pooing, eating of poo, etc...but it is now official...they are naughty dogs!

Bubby and his friend were playing out in the back yard and come in and tell Mr. Wonderful that they have found a dead rabbit. Mr. Wonderful whispers, "Don't tell Mom...let's us just handle this." Of course...Mrs. Cravits (ME) knows when someone is sneaking...so I follow...

There wasn't a dead rabbit. paaaaaahhhllllease!!! It was a DEAD CAT! The murderous villians have now committed every sin in the bible (including incest!) There laying in the gravel by the a/c was the soft sweet dead body of a little cat!!! They ate a CAT! Mr. Wonderful still contends they just loved it to death. "We're gonna need dental records" I say. Mr. Wonderful says he will take care of it, but if you know Mr. Wonderful, you know a couple things about him: A: Fainter (although a VERY masculine fainter, honey) and B: Animal Lover...I decided to put us both out of our misery (Mine? You ask? Would you want doggies walking all over your house with cat guts on their paws?) Anyhoooooo...Enter Minky: CSI Agent Extrodinaire (Fashion, of course, makes me extrodinary).

I don my green disposable latex-free hair color gloves (thank heavens I do hair!!) and proceed to try not to contaminate the crime scene. First we are gonna need a shovel..hmmm...all I can find is the dog poo shovel...welllll...what would you have done?

Next...Body Bag...hmmmmm...Grocery bag? Too bad I decided to go green and didn't want to use one of my 1$ reusable bags (not as reusable as one would think)...oh well...lawn and leaf bag. Now the tricky part...Did I mention it was 450 degrees? I need some serious nose plugs...darn! I just threw out my synchro nose plugs from 1986...tampons? No...perhaps you didnt read the fashionista part of extrodinary above..hmmmm..I know! Thank heavens Bubby had a cardiologist appt. the week before and I still had his face mask that he had decorated at PCMC...Phewf! Now I am looking extra professional.

Disposal posed another problem. This wasnt like when Tubby, the divorce dog, died and my neighbor put him a garbage bag and in the garbage because the truck was coming the next day...this was Monday...Garbage day isnt until Friday...Hmmm, dang...hmmm...Oh well...into the garbage. Mr. Wonderful had the major creeps all week long...."You don't have to leave for work at 5 in the morning in a scary dark garage with a dead cat in the garbage!" I tried to convince him that it wasn't going to jump out and attack him, but I wasn't wholly convinced either!

The crime scene gets cleaned up and traffic (the dogs and children) are allowed to go back to normal. Too bad I will be haunted with this all too vivid memory. Maybe I will go to school to be a Crime Scene Investigator. I'm pretty good (See the above crime scene photo, thanks Mr.Wonderful!!). I caught two of the sneakiest murderous villians known and MAYBE, just maybe, I will be able to cover up a certain double murder!